“Different Measurements Every Time”

All of us likely have a bit of trouble sleeping these days.  If we watch the news, catch up on social media, or even check our email before we go to bed, it can make a difference in how we sleep.  

Sometimes when I sleep, I can solve problems I have been wrestling with.  In the morning, I will have a solution which has been evading me for sometime.  However, that is not how it happens every night.  Most nights there are these weird combinations of strange people, situations, timelines, geographies grouped together in such ways that they do not make any sense at all. 

Sometimes I am able to remember them, even if I would prefer not to remember them.  Because occasionally they are, quite frankly, disturbing and even terrifying.  Often there are people who have long since passed from this life.  Frequently there are people together who would not likely meet in this life.  

Like many preachers, I often dream of missing a time when I am supposed to preach at a church.  In the dream I don’t know where the church is, haven’t prepared a sermon, don’t even have a Bible, and usually am either not clothed or inappropriately clothed.  It’s not a pretty sight.  

In my dreams, I have been lost, then find the right place, get lost again, wander around quite a bit, perhaps finding the right place, and perhaps not.  (In fairness, this can also happen when I am awake.)

So, recently I had a dream that Jeni and I were remodeling a home, which did not somehow bear any resemblance to our home.  We decided that the front door needed replacing.  So, in the dream, we removed the door and jamb, and then began measuring for the new door installation.  We measured it carefully, and wrote down the measurements. Then, to just make doubly sure that we would get the correct size door and jamb, we measured it again.  This time the measurements were incredibly different.  So we measured a third, fourth, fifth, sixth time, perhaps even more.  Every time the measurements were different.  Every time.

Right now reality is like that for all of us.  Everything changes.  Often.  Without warning.  And the next day, it is all repeated again, except with different results.  

To keep myself sane, I have had to focus less on understanding the reality in which we live, and instead focus on what I can do to make things better.  I can’t solve COVID, but I can wear a mask.  I can’t cure climate warming, but I can drive less.  I can pick up litter which has blown into the yard, and even in other yards.  I can fix things which need to be repaired.  I can listen to peaceful music, or at least music which feeds my spirit.  I can pray for my family and my friends and the folks in my church.  I can read lovely books.  I can laugh at jokes.  I can post positive and affirming things on social media.  I can smile at the clerks in the stores.  I can say “Thank you” several times a day to others.  I can say “thank you” to God.  I can breathe in and out. I can love this world and this life, and be grateful for all that is.  

And I suppose, if I ever find this mythical dream state house, I could measure the doorway again. 

Peace Be With You.  – Paul

~ by revpaulcalkin on September 24, 2021.

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